Complaining is bad for your brain


In this episode, I talk about complaining and how we address problems.

Complaining is not great for our mental health and wellbeing. It can create a habbit in our brian to focus on negative things. It can also impact relationships.


Main Talking Points:

Complaining vs. Stating Facts: Often, we don’t realise we’re complaining when we think we’re just stating facts or observations. This can lead us to believe our complaints are justified when in reality, they’re often just negative thoughts in disguise.

Impact on Relationships: Frequent complaining can damage relationships and create a negative atmosphere. Recognising that what we express affects those around us is essential to maintaining healthy interactions.

Shifting Focus to Positives: Our brains are wired to seek out danger and negatives as a survival mechanism. However, constantly focusing on the negative can lead to finding more things that go wrong and that are negative. It’s like we’re looking out for them.

Embracing the analogy of “having a pony and needing to shovel shit” can help us reframe problems. Just as having a pony brings responsibilities, many good things come with challenges that need to be addressed.

Circle of Control or circle of influence: Understanding the concept of the “Circle of Control” can guide us in distinguishing what we can control, influence, or have no control over. This perspective helps us allocate our energy wisely and respond more thoughtfully to situations.

Remember, we all have the choice to decide what we focus on and how we respond. By becoming more mindful of our thoughts and expressions, we can reshape our mindset and approach to problems, ultimately improving our wellbeing and relationships. 


Sometimes we don’t realise we’re complaining because we think, oh, well they’re just facts. Right? We think that it’s cold outside. That it’s a fact, but they’re often actually complaints.

Marie Vakakis




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