Dealing with Rejection Part 2 – Parents feeling rejected by their teens.

I speak about some of the unique challenges parents often face as their children transition into their teenage years. This phase can be a time of perceived rejection as teens assert their independence, leaving parents feeling less needed.


Key takeaways:

Understanding the Transition:

  • Adolescence marks a significant shift from childhood to the teenage years, accompanied by changes in friendship groups and the move to high school.
  • Teens naturally seek independence and autonomy as they explore their identities, often making parents feel rejected or unneeded.

Shifting Roles:

  • Parents must recognise the change from a “manager” role to a “consultant.” Your position description evolves, but you remain a crucial part of your teen’s life.
  • Avoid responding as if you’ve been “fired” from your role. Instead, consider how you can adapt to this new position as a consultant.

Managing Your Reactions:

  • Reflect on how you respond to situations that might feel like rejection. Identify the specific triggers and your emotional reactions, such as sadness, loneliness, or frustration.
  • Avoid projecting your hurt onto your teen. Be aware that your emotions are shaped by your interpretation of their actions.

Open and Honest Communication:

  • Use clear, non-judgmental language to express your desire for connection. Instead of passive-aggressive comments, be direct about your wishes.

Modelling Accountability:

  • Apologise and take responsibility for your reactions when you react poorly to a situation.
  • Encourage your teen to communicate their feelings without feeling responsible for your emotions.

Addressing Hurtful Comments:

  • When your teen makes hurtful comments, such as “I hate you,” try to identify the underlying emotion, like disappointment or anger.
  • Address the specific emotion rather than justifying your actions. Show understanding and empathy.

Setting Boundaries:

  • Establish healthy boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Clearly communicate what you can and can’t do to manage your time and commitments.
  • Teach your teen the importance of setting boundaries by respecting their limits as well.

Prioritising Self-Care:

  • Self-care is essential to maintaining your well-being and role-modeling emotional resilience.
  • Demonstrating your ability to handle ups and downs calmly and collectedly can positively impact your teen’s emotional development.



Remember, it takes a calm brain to calm a brain. 

By focusing on understanding, empathy, and effective communication, you can navigate the challenges of this phase with your teenager while maintaining a strong and supportive relationship. 



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It’s important to remember, all feelings are fine

Marie Vakakis


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