Hello there!
I am writing this while looking over the ocean and listening to the crashing waves in the distance. It’s so beautiful to be working from a new location this week.
This week I am on the Gold Coast doubling up on 2 big events. First I have level 3 Gottman training, next week I have the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Conference, which I’m presenting at 😬, I think by the end my brain is going to explode!
So day one of Gottman level three couples therapy training has just wrapped up.
I’ve been keen on this training for quite a while, but lockdown made it challenging to access face-to-face training and like many people I had plans change, get cancelled and I had to, dare I say it, pivot.
It’s taken some time to juggle everything I wanted to do and figure out how to slot in this three-day interstate course into my schedule and budget.
Now, finally I’m here and I’m giddy with excitement [ yes workshops and training excited me] .
Relationships fascinate me. They are, after all a huge part of our lives. The quality of our relationships determine and impact the quality of our physical and mental health I find this extrodinary and I can’t believe we don’t talk about it more.
If you’re intrigued by the dynamics of relationships and how they play a crucial role in our physical and mental wellbeing, I’m hoping this series of reflections about my training experience might strike a chord.
In the run-up to this training, I revisited my level one Gottman training, which I had initially taken online a few years back, as a bit of a refresher before diving into the level two program. I read blogs, books , listened to podcasts and refreshed my knowledge.
Couples therapy has been on my brain now for months as I aborbed all the content I could to prepare for this workshop [eager student over here 🙋🏻♀️]. I was listening to training while driving, walking the dog and watching videos of sessions at work on my lunch break.
So you can imagine how excited I was to be in a room with 17 other therapists all eager to learn and improve out craft.
As I reflected on the days learnings , what I was reminded about was the importance of listening and how it plays a crucial, yet often undervalued, role in our daily interactions within a relationship. It’s not just about waiting for your turn to speak but really hearing and understanding what the other person is saying. This form of active listening—to empathise and validate without necessarily agreeing—is something I’ve found to be a key component of meaningful connections.
Reflecting on my journey and experiences, I’ve come to recognise that I learn as much about personal growth as I do about professional development. Having been on both sides of the couples therapy experience, I understand how intimidating it can be to open up to a stranger about intimate relationship details. This understanding fuels my commitment to my role. It’s why I’m so passionate about protecting clients from the potential harm that well-meaning but unskilled therapists can cause. For me, continuous learning and improvement aren’t just professional goals; they’re personal ones, aimed at ensuring I offer the best support and guidance possible.
Three Things I Reflected on Today:
- The Underrated Skill of Listening: It’s not about listening to respond but listening to understand and empathise, showing care for your partner’s feelings and perspectives even when you don’t agree.
- Empathy and Validation Are Key: These are essential in making your partner feel seen and heard, crucial for fostering a supportive and understanding relationship environment.
- The Importance of Quality Time: Spending meaningful time together, knowing each other deeply, and enjoying shared activities strengthens the foundation of any relationship, highlighting the value of creating and maintaining connection rituals.
As we look ahead to the next two days, I’m eager to uncover more insights and tools that can help enhance not just the relationships I work with professionally but also my own personal connections. The goal is to continue growing as a therapist and as a person, always striving to offer a safe, supportive space for clients and to navigate my relationships with care and intention.
Reflect on your own relationships
How can you incorporate more active listening, empathy, and quality time into your daily interactions?
If you’re on a similar path or looking for ways to improve your connections, stay tuned for more reflections and insights. And remember, whether you’re seeking professional advice or just a bit of guidance, reaching out is the first step towards understanding and improvement. Let’s keep learning together, one day at a time.
If you’re a couple looking for counselling sessions check out The Therapy Hub.
It’s not just about waiting for your turn to speak but really hearing and understanding what the other person is saying.