I joined Shane Birkel on The Couples Therapist Couch to talk about something I see a lot in my work. The same patterns that show up in couples therapy often show up in parenting too. Especially when you’re raising a teenager.
Parenting teens can feel confusing, emotional and sometimes really lonely. They pull away, stop sharing, and suddenly all the ways you used to connect don’t seem to work anymore. But what I’ve learned is that a lot of the communication tools we use in couples work can also help parents understand and connect with their teens.
In this episode, we talk about:
- What emotional bids look like in families
- How to use soft start-ups instead of criticism
- Why adolescence brings up old wounds for parents
- The crossover between couples work and parenting
- What I teach parents about emotional anchors and connection
🗣️ “You could say, ‘I really like when we have family dinner, and I’d like to do more of that,’ instead of ‘You never want to have dinner with us anymore.’ It’s a small shift in words that makes a big difference.”
🗣️ “It’s not just about the fight you had with your teen. It’s often about a deeper story underneath, like feeling unappreciated or like you’re the only one trying.”
🗣️ “A lot of parents are reacting from their own unmet needs. You’re not just parenting your teen, you’re also responding from the part of you that didn’t feel seen or supported growing up.”
This episode is for therapists, parents, or anyone interested in building stronger relationships at home.
Links and Resources:
- Learn more about my practice and resources at The Therapy Hub: https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
- This Complex Life Podcast: Listen to my long-form conversations on relationships, mental health, and navigating life
