Bids for connection

In this episode I’ll be talking about Bids for Connection, those small gestures that can make or break a relationship. From couples to parents and teenagers, we’ll explore the importance of responding positively to these bids with kindness and love to create stronger connections and build trust.

Research has shown that a healthy relationship can have significant positive effects on our mental and physical health, while unhealthy relationships can have a negative impact on our mental and physical health.

One to build strong connections in intimate relationships is by using bids for connection.

Bids for Connection are little actions or communications used by someone to establish or maintain a connection with another person. They can be obvious or subtle, spoken or unspoken.

I share the three common ways people respond to bids and why it’s essential to be mindful of our reactions.

The 3 ways we respond to bids 

Turning Towards

Turning Away

Turning Towards Unkindly 

  • Key Takeaways:
    • Recognising bids for connection fosters emotional intimacy and trust.
    • Responding positively to bids creates a nurturing and supportive relationship environment.
    • Missed bids can lead to emotional distance, conflict, and feelings of loneliness.
    • Repairing missed bids involves acknowledging the oversight and making an effort to reconnect.
    • Building strong relationships with teenagers involves turning towards their bids, even when they seem negative or hostile.

Remember, the quality of our relationships greatly influences our overall wellbeing. So let’s start paying attention

 When we turn away, what it signals to our partner, whether it was our intention or not, is I’m not there for you. Something else is more important. You don’t matter to me.

Marie Vakakis



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